Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Not Alone Series: Deal Breakers Again

We have chatted about our deal breakers/non-negotiables before, but how do you keep from letting your standards fall? What prevents you from just dating any guy out there? What keeps you going?

God wants the best for me so I should also want the best for myself.

My birthday is Friday. "Another year older, still no man." "You are not getting any younger." Lovely words to hear this last week and although I some times I think similar thoughts the people who do say these things to me don't know me very well.

Last year I was talking to a friend whose birthday is just after mine, wishing each other happy happy, lamenting getting older and being the only two from a particular set of friends still single. In the last 2-3 years everyone else has gotten married, entered the Seminary or Religious Life and one decided just to do it her own way and had a baby. Dani said "God's timing is perfect and it will happen when it's time to happen." She is very wise and I hold on to her words.

God's timing is perfect and even though the old clock seems to tick faster I'm not about to become desperate. I don't just want a husband to say I have a husband. I want the right man. A godly, prayerful man. A man who shares my Faith and values. The Eucharist, the Body of Christ is very important to me and when I go to receive Him at Mass I am walking towards Jesus so I want my husband walking with me. Not left behind in the pew or even worse not even there but back at the house watching football, cricket or hockey.

I think that if I just grabbed the next available guy even though he is totally unsuited to me I just may be happier single than married.

I want to be happily married. I know we may disagree and everything will not be perfect or even happy all the time but the guy I envision will work with me and pray with me so we can keep figuring it out.

Having friends like Dani and the NAS community is really helpful. Looking around sometimes it feels like everyone is paired up even 10 year olds (rant for another day) it's great to have people in your corner who also have similar standards, who are waiting or have waited.

I had a co-worker ask me a few months ago if I thought maybe my standards were too high and if I really thought there was a guy out there like that. I said yes and it was a really easy yes for me to say. Sometimes I doubt and lose patience but I keep trusting God and His timing.

What helps you to not let your standards fall? What keeps you going? Leave a comment and visit Jen for the link-up to see what everyone else has to say.