Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Not Alone Series: Deal Breakers

We have all thought about our list of qualities for our future spouse (and maybe even religious community), but sometimes those can be pretty limiting on who God has planned for you. Instead, maybe think about the few things that are so important to you, that if a guy you were considering dating (or community you were entering) didn't have those things, you would have to move on. Why are those things important to you?

My Faith is important to me, very. My family is very catholic, non-catholic. Going to church and praying alone is lonely. My most important deal breaker is my future husband has to be Catholic. The capital C kind. Who believes and accepts ALL the teachings of the church, I have learnt that those two don't always go together for some people. I love Jesus and the fullness of my Catholic Faith and he needs to as well. He doesn't have to be a perfect Catholic just a practising one.

He has to be living chastely. Not worrying about his past at this time, at least not enough for it to be an immediate deal breaker. However when we meet I need chastity to be a way of life for him not something he doesn't really believe in but will try for me. I certainly don't want to be fighting off grabby and wandering hands or explaining "I don't do that either". Although I guess this would fall under the first deal breaker of him being a practising catholic, although he doesn't have to be Catholic to live chastely.

Now I know people who marry non-Catholics and have a great life. There is a family at my church, the husband comes to Mass with his wife and family every Sunday, he is even semi-involved. They have been married for about 40 years and he is not Catholic, I don't think he has any plan to convert but he is at Mass, participating in everything except receiving Communion. There is another couple where the wife converted after a number of years, the oldest daughter was about eight when it happened. I know non-catholic spouses are not the end of the world. In my heart however, I'm not sure if I could handle one.

What are some of your deal breakers? What are those things you would find hard to overlook? Visit Jen for the link-up and see what everyone else is saying.