Just Say Thank You

I have a really bad habit. It's not really intentional, it happens automatically and then I'm like .... Nooooooo.

I am very bad at receiving compliments. Worse I tend to point out every flaw I believe I have that makes the compliment untrue. Sometimes there is the awkward silence after I finish my tirade of flaws and oppositions then I feel awful because here is this person being genuinely nice and I'm shoving it back in their face. Poor people don't know what to say next

I used to tell myself it was humility but it's just downright humiliating to me and the poor kind soul who noticed something about good/nice about me and commented on it.

Thank you. I don't know why that is so hard.

It's like every negative comment I have ever heard about myself rushes up and I just have to correct this poor misguided soul who dares try to see something different in me.

I'm trying to change that. I am trying to just say thank you.

Not Alone Series: Summer Reading List

Share your favorite book recommendations! Beach reads, deep novels, anything! Share share share!

My not so secret love - books. I can spend hours upon uninterrupted hours reading. In fact my eyes adjust seamlessly to fading like if I am reading, only if I get interrupted to do I notice it got dark and then I can't read any more. My grandmother says I'm like a cat, also that I'll go blind and then what will I do.

Young adult fiction. My heart belongs in this section of the library, after a very deep book I need a YA or younger book to recover. Just something fluffy or familiar. This time of year I don't even need that excuse. This year I have Anne of Green Gables by L.M Montgomery in my sights. I love Anne, Gilbert, Marilla and Matthew. I love that the harder she tries not to get into scrapes the more she gets into them. Her imagination definitely rivals my own and I love a girl with a good imagination. I have read Anne of Avonlea but I've never read Anne of the Islands or Anne's House of Dreams and it would be great if I could get through some of those this year as well.

When Comes Spring by Janette Oke. There is actually a series by hallmark based on the book. It was an enjoyable read. It's the first in a series and I am actually looking forward to reading the others

Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis. I was having a discussion with a friend not too long ago about this book. I have found myself easily distracted alot lately, then I saw that my library had it available for digital lending so I decided a little catching up with Wormwood and Uncle Screwtape were in order.

A Broken Kind of Beautiful by Katie Ganshert. This is a christian romance novel but it is more than just the girl meets boy, girl and boy find themselves attracted, hates each then loves each, misunderstanding then making up to live happily ever after. I'm not saying that the book doesn't have some of that but it is so much more. The main character Ivy doesn't think she is worth much, she is a washed up model at 24 and is very damaged. Don't want to give away any spoilers but it was a good book.

Father, Forgive Me, for I am Frustrated by Fr Mitch Pacwa. I am only just starting this, it is my book for my flights and layovers. I got it mainly because I like most books by Fr Pacwa so when I saw it I thought why not. The tagline "Growing in Faith when you don't find it easy being Catholic" definitely caught my eye and I was sold.

Something Other Than God by Jennifer Fulwiler. Written by a fellow blogger. Great book, read it for the NAS book club and cannot wait to discuss it. I loved the flow of this book, I could genuinely see and recognise Jen from the blog in the book. I know many people are reading it but if you haven't get it.

Others on my to read list are:

The Prayer Box by Lisa Wingate

Where There's Smoke by Jodi Picoult

The Swan House by Elizabeth Musser

The Discovery by Dan Walsh

Orphan Train by Christina Baker Kline

Keeping Faith by Jodi Picoult

The Memory Thief by Emily Colin

Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight

I am always looking for new authors and books to try so feel free to make suggestions.

What are you reading? See what everyone else is visit Morgan for the link up.

7 Quick Takes Friday #59

--- 1 ---

I have been asked to lead a women's group. I said yes. It would really have been futile to say no because, and I say this with great love, these people do not take no for an answer. I tried to dodge, suggested someone else who would be so much more suited. AKA more vocal, more outgoing, more not me. It's a group that I have been in for a while but it has gotten to big for the currently so it was suggested that we split the group and somehow I ended up on the short list for leadership. I'm not totally on my own though, we've decided to keep the two groups together at least for a while so I'm easing my way into this.

--- 2 ---

World Cup finals are this Sunday, after which life will go back to normal around here. I'm not much of a football fan (we don't say soccer) but around here cricket and football are king so World Cup has taken over for the last month. We ordered some t-shirts printed for a family day at church but some were not ready on time (not the printer's fault, the wrong sizes were ordered) so new ones were re-ordered to be ready last Friday when the person responsible called the printer to ask what the delay was she was asked if she didn't realise world cup is going on. We are never using that printer again.

--- 3 ---

Retreat planning starts tonight for me. Our annual retreat is coming up in September and I am getting together with the rest of the committee for Adoration as we begin pulling everything together. This is my third year being on the committee and I actually enjoy it, it doesn't hurt that I have first dibs on a single room at the retreat but I love seeing it all come together. We were actually supposed to start planning last month but life happened but at least we have the venue booked and a tentative theme going.

--- 4 ---

Does getting ready to travel turn anyone else into a super nutty clean freak? Just me?! I am not a natural housekeeper, I do the basics and I try to keep everything as clean as possible, my room doesn't count. However every time I get ready to travel I just start deep cleaning, this weekend I did the bathroom and the kitchen, the living room was done a little earlier but I'll probably do it again before I leave next week.

--- 5 ---

One week from now I will be in Savannah with a great group of bloggers. Can't wait to see Jen again and meet the others for the first time. When I first started blogging I never thought of meeting anyone in real life but here I am and I can't wait. Gorgeous accommodations, great company and a weekend of untold possibilities. Yay!!!

--- 6 ---

I have travel list that I usually use so I don't forget the little things. There's nothing like being a million miles away from home without your favourite moisturiser or worse yet credit card. I have to finish working on that and hopefully start packing on Sunday after I get back from a world cup party (Go Argentina!!!). Not the biggest fan of packing so I like spreading it out over a few days.

--- 7 ---

A song to end the week.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!
 

Hello Summer, Goodbye T.V

I'm not giving my t.v away, I am not THAT enlightened. I'm not even really going to stop watching t.v over the summer. I am however not going to let it dictate my life for a while.

I don't watch that much t.v but I do have specific shows that have been known to make me decide not to do some things or stay up much later than I really should because I HAVE to know what is happening. The thought of other people watching and knowing what is happening and I'm not even though I could probably watch it online the next day was sometimes to much to bear.

The regular season is out and the summer season of shows have started but I am not letting myself get attached to any of the shows. I will NOT be trapped to my couch.

What am I going to do with all this freedom????

I am taking (doing?) a bible study on Mary. I have been interested in doing one for a while now but the timing never quite worked out. I'm glad I get to do this one on Mary although the other topics were great too but I have really been wanting to get more insight on Our Blessed Mother for a while now so this works out great.

I'm hanging out with friends. A couple weeks ago I went to a party at church, it's an annual thing but I've been skipping it for a while now because on a Friday after work this introvert does not want to socialise I want to veg in front of the t.v and read. I wouldn't mind if it's just my friends but having to make small talk with everyone else, I'd rather not. I went this year and it was so much fun. One of my friends got an electric slide going and then a conga line. I have such extroverted friends it's a wonder but we go so well together.

I'm sleeping more. I am a night owl even without the t.v and I have to get up early for 6:30 Daily Mass before work. This habit has been in me from all my late night study sessions back in the day, stay up late to study then up again early to do more studying. I'm okay with it but since I'm no longer staying up to watch that show until 11 I'm going to sleep earlier some nights. My night owl habit did not completely disappear I'm still up late a lot but when I am truly tired I'm not forcing myself to stay up to watch something.

I know come September/October Parenthood and all my other vices will return but hopefully I will have learnt how not to be so attached and can say "it's okay, I can't watch you right now I'll catch up on the weekend".

I Wanted To Be Invisible

As a kid I was asked the question if I had to pick a super power what would it be, I always picked invisibility. My sister was made for the lights and centre stage I preferred the background, the dark corner, perfectly blended with the scenery. Still do.

Today's Gospel reading talks about we as Christians are the salt and the light.

Matt 5:14 says "You are the light of the world. A city built on a hill cannot be hid."

A couple months ago one of the security guards at my job asked me if I was a Christian. I don't really have a relationship with this woman, I say good morning or what ever, I wish her a good weekend, some small talk on occasion. Nothing in-depth. When I told her yes she said "I knew it, you could always tell." I didn't ask her what she meant by that I thanked her because she really made my day that morning.

This last week I was having a conversation with a couple of co-workers, I've known both for less than a year but we talk regularly about a number of things so I would say we are fairly close. We are chatting about relationships one is married, the other is divorced but has a boyfriend and well I'm single. When I asked I said yes I would love to be in a relationship but basically I don't want a boyfriend just to have a boyfriend. One of them said she knew I was that kind of person from the way she has seen me act and heard me talk. She liked that I had standards.

I often think no-one notices me, that what I do or don't do doesn't make much difference to anyone.

I may want to be invisible. I may even act like it at times. However God has called us to be the salt and light of the earth. To not have our lights hid under a bushel basket but to shine before others.

We don't always know where our light may land, why or how but know that if you are living out your Catholic Faith you are shining for God.

7 Quick Takes Friday #58

--- 1 ---

I actually started this on Wednesday, but life happened and now Saturday evening I am finishing it up. I have been away from QTs for about 13 weeks (6 weeks of Lent and 7 weeks of Easter) give or take a week, thank you Catholic Church and Liturgical calendar.

--- 2 ---

I am going to be T.V on Tuesday for a panel discussion, call-in program on 'The Christian Response to Stress and Anxiety'. I am stressful and anxious just thinking about it. This is my second time being on this programme but the last time it was with a group of friends so it was just like us talking and having a conversation. This time I'll be joining a psychologist (psychiatrist??), a guy whose wife I know and whose daughter I just adore plus two other people I don't know. Prayers at 8pm EST Tuesday 10th will be greatly appreciated.

--- 3 ---

How do people decide when airline prices cannot possibly go down any more? I never buy my tickets this early but I always check prices early in planning my trip to estimate a budget, earlier this week on a whim I decided to just check again and prices had dropped drastically, but still I don't buy tickets this early so I wasn't sure if to jump on it or not. I liked the flight times and the price was just beautiful (I was already calculating what I could do with the savings). I talked it over with a few people and I decided to wait. The price has gone down again to just plain ridiculous but I do not like these flight times. The flight times I like are cheaper than earlier this week but not as cheap the other flight. Should I wait, grab it or just stop torturing myself by waiting as I usually do and just buying the tickets at reasonable price. Buying now means the possibility of tying up money that may be used elsewhere. Any thoughts?

--- 4 ---

The rainy/hurricane season has started here in Trinidad and Tobago. Trinidad has had exactly one minor hurricane before I was born, Tobago has had one medium and one minor also before I was born. However we do get lots of warnings, alerts and cautions whenever there is one in another island or Florida. We instead get unrelenting rain. Last night was a night of such rain in which I discovered a leak caused my some renovations at around midnight. It was fun :( Praise God there was no damage, it was barely a trickle really but because the rain was non stop it was a continuous trickle. I think it's fixed now just have to wait for rain to fall again to find out.

--- 5 ---

The Not Alone Series celebrated it's one year anniversary. I know right, a whole year of this great community of women.  Come check out the link up. Send Morgan and Jen some love for getting this started and keeping it going.

--- 6 ---

Pentecost is tomorrow!!! Come Holly Spirit Come.

--- 7 ---

A song to end the week.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!
 

Not Alone Series: Year In Review

June 4th, 2013 was the very first NAS post! How has your life changed in the past year? How has the NAS community impacted you? Where would you like to see the NAS go in the future?

It's been a year. Wow.

Honestly in the beginning I didn't think we would make it this far.

I started reading Morgan's blog just before the start of this around mid-May I think. She mentioned NAS but I didn't pay too much attention because before her blog I only knew about 4 other single, Catholic bloggers so really how many people would there be. Now Bek is not Catholic but at the time I was just thinking Catholic.Yet here we are a year later with new bloggers joining us all the time.

From the very first post I felt welcome and part of something. Jen and Morgan have been gracious and wonderful hostesses and it has been a pleasure getting to know them. This year has been a really growing experience for me as I have looked at different aspects of my singleness, discernment and just life in general, this link-up has been a huge blessing and I cannot thank them enough for getting us started and keeping us going.

The other ladies who make up this link-up (whether they post every week or not) have been so wonderful to get to know. Not just the posts for NAS but discovering their blogs in general and on facebook. It's great to read what everyone has to say, I often find myself saying "that's me, I totally get that." Not Alone has been the perfect name because I do get to see I am not alone in so many things. I even get new perspectives because sometimes I am just so used to thinking one way I never allowed myself to see anything else.

I never knew I was so emotional. I am NOT a crier but posts and even comments have left me teary. The kindness and encouragement has been overwhelming. There have been times I have written something I think, "I can't believe I wrote that, I must sound like such a .....". Then I would get a comment or read someone else's post and I'll be like "okay that wasn't so bad".

The community. The friendships. People say (don't exactly know who these people are) that you can't make real friends on the internet. I have to disagree. I sometimes find myself quoting you guys and I often say "my friends x said...." I tend to leave out the part that x wrote a blog post that backs up the point I am now trying to make.

Savannah. Really looking forward to spending a weekend with some of these lovely ladies that I have been getting to know for the last year.

You are not lost. You are not broken. You are not left behind. Not Alone.

Thank you for a wonderful year of self-discovery, inclusion and new friends. Thank you for being a blessing I did not even know I needed. Thank you for the support and the community. Thank you Jen and Morgan for what you have started and what you have kept going, I am sure it has not been easy.

Happy Anniversary!!!!!!!!!

How has NAS impacted your life in the last year. Share your thoughts, leave a comment. Visit Jen for the link-up to check out what everyone else is saying about their experience.