Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Not Alone Series: Settling

No one would encourage you to "settle" in your relationships, but would you ever consider it?
What are your thoughts on settling in relationships in general?

This topic is proving hard for me to get started with, I have my opinions on this topic. In fact a few friends and I were having a discussion on this topic not too long ago. Just getting the words out is not as easy.

Women and men sometimes feel like this is never going to happen for me so I should just find someone, anyone who is willing to have me and move on. They stop trusting God. All those women who are telling themselves that they don't need a man to have kids and instead decide to "do it on their own".

I am worth it. I am worth the wait. I am worth getting to know. I am worth loving. I am worth standing in front of the Alter before God, family and friends as a life-long commitment is made. I had a conversation that turned into a fight with someone about her relationship with her boyfriend and one line she threw at me was very telling "Do you want me to be alone?" I can't speak to her heart or mind exactly but when she asked me that I realised that she was willing to settle because she probably didn't think she was worth much or could do better. I struggle with my own self-worth issues and I'd like to think I will stand strong but I know I can't do it alone.

I pray that I remain strong enough not to settle. I was playing with a friend's 9 month old son on Sunday, making him laugh and enjoying everything he was doing, my heart was aching for a baby of my own but I do not want one above God and everything He wants for me. It is very easy to make my desire for a husband and babies an idol, something that I want at all cost, above everything and everyone else. It will be very easy to tell myself I deserve this, compromise everything I believe to just settle into something that I think will give me everything I want.

I do know that there will be times that we may need or want to compromise just a little. That great, godly man who makes you heart skip a few beats doesn't attend Daily Mass or pray the Rosary daily but when he discusses Ven. Fulton Sheen (you have no idea who he is) with such passion you get goosebumps may just be worth something.

What are your thoughts on settling? Join or check out the link up on Jen's blog.