Monday, 29 September 2014

Not Alone Series: Courtship vs. Dating

It might be easy to say that the pursuit of marriage is the purpose of dating (aka courtship). But, that's not how our culture views dating. Does viewing the person you're dating as a potential spouse add unnecessary pressure on the relationship? In your opinion, is there a difference between dating and courtship? If so, what are those differences?

This is very, very late. In fact I wasn't even sure I wanted to finish write it because I'm not sure what I want to say (one of the reasons this took so long to write). I do have a question.

What exactly is courtship and how does it differ from dating? I have previously (before courtship became this ridiculously popular thing) interchanged the two.

My understanding from the use of the term "courtship" it is meant to be dating but not just the couple involved but each others family. They are never left alone. It is meant to "guard" your heart and keep you from heart break.

My problems with these...
While I have no problem spending time with a guys family as I get to know him and we contemplate marriage we need some alone time. I need time to get to know you as you are without a constant audience. I personally will feel the need to be always "on" with my future possible mother-in-law watching.
In any relationship heart break is a possibility. Human feelings are involved. I read a blog with one couple they had their first "I love you's" at the proposal because they didn't feel it was appropriate before hand, they didn't want to endanger each other's hearts, etc. To each his own but I'm sorry if I'm in love with you whether I say it or not if we break up my heart is still going to break. Also if I'm in a serious relationship and the guy has never said he loves me I would feel seriously off-kilter and confused.

I told a friend this recently I wouldn't date a guy I couldn't see myself marrying but I don't think a date automatically leads to a marriage licence. Courtship as I perceive it assumes that jump to the alter.  My question then is there something that comes before courtship or is like a child going to a toy store and just choosing.

There are so many things I need to know and be attracted to in a guy before I get to the point I believe courtship is (just before engagement).

Is courtship just a term to differentiate christian dating from secular dating?

What are you're thoughts on courtship? Visit Jen for the link-up and see what everyone else who linked-up on time had to say.