Saturday, 13 September 2014

Not Alone Series: Oh So Chivalrous

Chivalry should not become a lost art and we, as women, ought to step up to the plate a bit more and encourage men to treat us as women, thereby respecting them as men. Do you have tips, ideas, or stories to encourage men to be... men?! Open doors for us, initiate dates, honor us as women, etc? Let's chat!

Thank you Sarah Therese for the topic!!!

I am not a woman hear me roar type nor am I a shrinking flower. I believe it is a man's job to take out the garbage primarily because I don't like to do it but I would also love for a man to cook for me or do the dishes.

I do not think chivalry is not a lost art. When a friend of mine was dating her now husband I saw the kind of man I wanted to marry. I wasn't suddenly lusting after my friend's boyfriend but I was very attracted to some of his quality traits. He was chivalrous. He opened doors for her every time and me too if we were together. The car door, doors to buildings. He gave her his hand to help her our the car whether she needed it or not as well as a few other things.

This weekend while running an insane amount of errands I ran into some pretty chivalrous men. I had quite a few doors opened for me. I said thank you with a smile. An upbeat thank you not a begrudging thanks. A careless thank you doesn't sound very appreciative, and when the gesture of doing something chivalrous is appreciated it is likely to be repeated.

For me, allowing guys to be chivalrous makes me feel vulnerable. Sometimes when the offer comes I feel like the person thinks I'm weak or incompetent. I'm not very big, have been skinny my whole life and as a kid I was picked to do some things because people thought I wasn't strong enough and that kind of stuck with me. I'm slowly coming into being okay with allowing myself to be vulnerable.

With my car I have never had a problem allowing chivalrous gestures. I can't change a tire and until a little over a year ago I didn't know how to put gas in my car. However a couple a months ago I was having car trouble so pulled into the gas station and popped the hood to check the few things I was taught to check then the rain just came down. Hard. One of the guys there ran over to me we an umbrella because I was fighting with the thing not getting it closed while getting soaked. I let him close the engine for me then I stood there feeling foolish as he asked me what I needed, to get back in my car or get across the lot to shelter. I was a little hesitant but I did let him help me into my car. Because I was a little embarrassed I didn't allow myself to appreciate this sweet gesture.

A few months ago I was at an event late, I didn't think it was late but a friend's husband did and decided he would follow me home. I did think it was nice that he wanted to do it but I felt bad that I was taking him out of his way. He followed me home and then he waited for me to get in the house. I had a lot of stuff to take out of my car so I told him he could go since my sister was home and I didn't really feel in danger but he stayed. I did remember to say thank you.

I am still trying get comfortable with some chivalrous gestures but chivalry is not dead but it does need to be encouraged.

Do you think chivalry is dead? Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you expect it? What are your thoughts on the topic. Leave a comment, join the discussion. Visit Jen for the link-up to see what everyone else has to say.