Thursday, 18 September 2014

Not Alone Series: Online Dating Dos & Don'ts

Not all of us have jumped into the world of online dating, but many of us have! What are those things that we should AND shouldn't do?! If someone you know is considering online dating, how would you encourage him/her? What advice do you have?

I put my toe into the online dating world about 3 years ago. I joined Ave Maria Singles (AMS), they had discounts for international users and it was a one time sign up, no experation. You had to apply for the discount and get an email with the code, I had that code for about six months before I actually used it. I kept imaging introducing my future husband to my grandparents , having them ask how we me and getting a lecture from my grandmother on the evils of the internet in front of him.

I joined Catholic Match early last year. Catholic Match is more interactive than AMS and I liked that about it but not every profile is an active, paid profile.

The do's and the don't's:-

Do participate as much as you feel comfortable. Check out the forums, the chat rooms, poll questions. There are great friends to be made besides just finding the one.

Don't spend all your time on the site. Live your life to the fullest, you'll have more to talk about with the people you do meet on the site. You'll be more relaxed, calm and rational if you are not constantly looking at and obsessing over the fact that you haven't been contacted, no one is ever online or whatever annoys you over time.

Do have pictures. I need to see what a person looks like and a general idea of how you spend your time. At a game (any kind cause I don't know jack about sports anyway), that birthday party, the trip you took. I personally don't click on profiles with a photo.

Do have reasonable expectations. If you are 40 don't expect the 20 year old to swoon on receiving your emotigram. Just because you are attracted don't expect the other person to be and don't get mad because they are.

Do be polite. I have a standard thank you but no thank you response. If someone has taken the time to write me a message I do try to respond even if it's just to say that I'm not interested.

Don't string anyone along. If you are not interested don't pretend to be. Sure this may be the only person who has ever contacted you but even after giving it an honest try you just don't see a future say goodbye (really say goodbye don't just stop writing). If you are getting serious about one person don't start a relationship with someone else to hedge your bets. If you are messaging multiple people don't hint at strong feelings to all.

Do leave the computer and meet in person. It's called online dating but the actual dating happens in real life you just meet online. You have to actually spend time with the people you meet in some real life situations.

Have you tried online dating? Are you sceptical about it? Do you have do's or don't's to add to this list? Leave a comment. Also check out Morgan for the link-up to see what every one else has to say on the topic.