Wednesday, 9 April 2014

Not Alone Series: Do's and Don'ts of First Dates

What are those things that we should be doing, and the things that we shouldn't be doing? They can be from the physical parts (clothes to wear, places to go, things to say) or emotional parts (talking about it all the time, planning the future, etc). We can all learn something in hindsight, so what are your tips to share?

Now I don't have a lot of experience with first dates and the few that I did have were not shining examples of what a first date should be. I would like to think I have learnt a few things though so here are my pearl of wisdom.

Do remember who you are. It may have been a while since you've had a date or may be not so long. You may feel like you've known this guy for ever though you've just met or he may be a total dud. However you will always be you, a child of God. Be gracious even if he isn't. Have self-control even if he doesn't.

Don't forget your standards. No overly friendly physical contact. Have in your mind and you heart your list of Nos and stick to them. It's just the first date, even if he is the most amazing guy you have ever met and you JUST know he is the one, it is still just the first date.

Do have a list of talking points handy. If you are like me, not a natural conversationalist, it may be a good idea to have some pre-chosen topics to talk about during lulls. Don't plan a whole conversation, just have a few topics that you can easily talk about like your favourite football team or Saint. Have a few questions you would like to ask him like about his job or his family. Remember it's not an interrogation just a get to know you.

Don't let your conversation only be negative. If you don't like something that's fine. You don't agree with his point of view on something that's fine too. If everything that comes out of your mouth is whiny and negative that is not fine. Don't suppress your thoughts just to have a good date or impress the guy but maybe you can redirect the conversation if it have been on a negative track too long.

Do be safe. If this a totally new guy especially let someone know where you'll be. Have a day date instead of an evening or night date. Meet somewhere public instead of having him pick you up at home, bonus you have your own car if the date goes south for other reasons.

Do dress comfortably. You want to look nice, special. You want to impress. That's great. However if you are a t-shirt, jeans and sneaker kind of girl then the 10 inch heels may not be the way to go. Dress-up to suit your style and personality.

Do pray. Get God in on this. Before, during and after. Ask Him to be there with you. Thank Him for the great guy who has kept you laughing, smiling or surprised. Beg Him to save you from the jerk. Ask Him to give you patience, calm your nerves and help you to relax.

Do have fun. With dating there is the good, the bad and the ugly. A first date may not necessarily lead to a second but you can still enjoy yourself.

What are your do's and don'ts for dates? See what everyone else has to say, visit Jen for the link-up.